Note to Reader: This article was first published online by Indie Chick Magazine.
What? You haven’t heard of this club? Oh, I am willing to bet that you have. I am also willing to bet that a few of you carry that little membership card in your Coach wallet or tucked inside your Victoria’s Secret bra. Still not sure what I am talking about? Let me explain.
The Raw Definition of the Happy Liar’s Club
Happy liar members pursue and achieve all the status symbols that are supposed to make us happy, albeit superficially. They obtain the college degree because it looks good and it makes a comfy mattress to fall back on when they fail at whatever dreams and desires they never really went after to begin with. Happy liars get married because they want the stability, yet they often choke on guilt and fear when they realize that they did not marry their soul mate, but instead their adolescent craving.
Happy liars buy the big homes and the big cars with their small bank accounts while their credit cards grow larger to compensate for their measly paychecks. Happy liars usually end up sustaining their superficial happiness by popping synthetic drugs and guzzling cheap wine every other Friday night, thusly deemed “Girl’s Night.”
Why haven’t you heard of this club? Unfortunately, this is because it tends to be a secret club since most people will never admit that they belong to this clandestine society of clouded truths and half-lived lives. But, I believe there are many, many people who live the happy liar lifestyle each and every day.
Did I offend you? If I did, I’m not sorry. According to the rules of the Happy Liar’s Club, I should be but I’m not. To apologize for speaking my mind and letting my voice be heard would be wrong because I wouldn’t be my authentic self.
Living an Authentic Life
Living an authentic life is actually a lot harder than existing daily on superficiality and mediocrity. Why? The answer is quite simple. The reason living an authentic life is difficult is because it’s not welcome or expected; not in a society where everyone is supposed to wear name brand clothes, drive SUVs, and zip their lips for the sake of getting along. Nope. This lifestyle is actually quite rare, yet it is in desperate need of a resurgence. Here are three ways to make that happen:
Stop Playing a Role
Are you a wife? Are you a mother; someone’s sister or friend? Sure, you may be one or all of those things, but those roles or labels do not define you. They do not need to determine how you plan your life, how you dress, or how you choose to express yourself in the world. Make decisions in your life based on how you feel about YOU at the end of the day. Not based on a pre-scripted role.
Rebel and Dare to Be Different
No one is saying you have to channel your inner hipster and reject everything mainstream, but for the sweet love of Jesus, Buddha, Allah, and the Great Universe, don’t let the material and immaterial things in your life be chosen for you based on mainstream acceptance. For instance, if we are being honest, I hate Coach. I hate the style, the design, and I think most of the bags (there are a few exceptions) are quite hideous. For the longest time during my time in the Happy Liar’s Club, I thought I had to have one because that meant I belonged to a certain niche. But, one day I woke up and rebelled. I dared to be different and fell in love with designers that matched me.
Stop Judging Others
This last point might make you raise an eyebrow or two, especially since I will concede that it might appear that I am being a bit critical. After all, if you belong to this club and truly enjoy the privileges it extends to you then who am I to question this? But for those who feel trapped in a fabricated and manufactured lifestyle that lacks authenticity one of the key ways that you can start living an authentic life is to stop judging others. Accept the choices that they make in their lives. One of the hardest life lessons to learn is that the only person you can change is yourself. Even I still have a problem accepting this truth from time to time.
The Beauty of Empowerment
If you can break free from the restrictions that you are putting on your potential to live life on your terms, the beauty of empowerment will be yours to experience. Empowerment is a bad ass way of making your way through this crazy and unpredictable existence. It provides you with an arsenal of tools to help you face tough times and uncertainty. Not only does empowerment provide you with a foundation of confidence, but it helps you learn how to love unconditionally and more completely.
Don’t worry. I will not be collecting your Happy Liar membership cards at the end of this piece. I am simply asking you to take a look at the life you are creating and ask yourself, “Is this the person I am meant to me?” Only you know that answer to that question.